Even the brilliant make mistakes

Today I found out a mistake that my hubby made.  It was something that I was ready to defend for yesterday.  I wanted to get my car ready for winter and tune it up. My mechanic found was the battery needing replacement; however he did not have the battery that was needed (and this is likely a blessing in disguise now). So, my dad and I went off to Canadian Tire to get a replacement and return the old battery as there is a rebate for returning the old battery for disposal. When we get there, the battery we’re told that fits in my car (my late husband’s car) is actually different than the one we just had taken out.  I thought, for sure they must be wrong.  My husband was fastidious and his car was his “baby” there is no way that he made a mistake in replacing the last battery. Canadian Tire staff insisted that their computer is correct and this is the battery.  I purchase the battery and returned to my mechanic who says this battery is too small, it is the wrong one. He makes calls to confirm what part number for the battery he thinks we need. My dad and I return to Canadian Tire to find they will not do refunds on batteries and if we purchase the one that my mechanic suggested the warranty will be void because it is supposed to be for another model of car. Needless to say I was exasperated with the back and forth; and, given I was supposed to be at my in-laws at this time, I suggested to call it a day.

This morning I decided to go to the Nissan dealership to clarify which is the correct battery... and guess what, the listed, smaller battery at Canadian Tire was correct.  Honestly, my husband was very detailed oriented.  I think this is what helped him excel at mathematics.  He would work through any sort of problem methodically, not just math. I just can’t see him putting the wrong battery into his car that he kept meticulously. Yet, here I am at the Nissan parts and service and they verified the battery that I purchased was the correct battery for my car. So, even the brilliant make mistakes (or car batteries have significantly shrunk in the past 5 years).

What does this tell me? If I apply this to the world of cancer (or otherwise), the suggestion to always obtain a second opinion is not a bad idea.  Even if your doctor seems brilliant, perhaps it is good to check out to see what someone else would say. You never know, may something new will be learned.

I Did It!

This morning I completed my second jog.  Yesterday was my first. My Dad called me up early in the morning and said, “Do you want to go out for a run?” He then proceeded to say, “We can come over there before we go bowling.” Mom and Dad go bowling with friends most Sunday mornings. And I agreed. So I did a mini run with my dad, a good first run.  Today I kept myself motivated and ran again, this time a little further and took a break at my favourite meditation spot by the lake (yes I meditated too). All very good: because it is good for me to start becoming more active; I noticed that I came back with energy and motivation to tackle my growing to-do list; most importantly, because I have read that breast cancer reoccurrence can be reduced anywhere for 40% - 70% simply by regular aerobic activity for about a half hour per day. Most recently I read 50% in Prevention magazine. 

Highly motivating, or it should be. Some days it is hard to be motivated. Even yesterday after my little run, my son and I decided to go bowling with my folks and to have lunch with their friends. After I was exhausted, so even though I am picking up in activity and energy, I still need to pace myself and plan for when my energy level crashes. I am wary about what running may be like once snow starts to fly and ice starts covering the pathways and sidewalks.  I think this is where my Dad and a couple of other friends who are experienced runners will become great supports, either in running with me or by giving me tips to endure the elements better.

The other piece that somewhat comes to play is the envy and self-pity of dealing illness. This morning, as I ran from my son’s daycare to the lake, then back up to my home, I pass by a main street with a MacDonald’s (which, by the way I haven’t had anything from MacDonald’s in years, likely almost a decade). As I jog by there is someone entering the parking lot, by car, smoking and going to the drive-thru. I have the self-righteous thought of how can people not care about their bodies like that! Then there is the thought of how can people just do that and not have these (health) problems? Then I remind myself that I don’t know what their life is and their struggles. I also remind myself that perhaps my body is just more sensitive and I need to do my best to take care of it; others will make their own decisions.

Most importantly, I went for my second run for the second day in a row. I know this is a good step for me and all I need to do is make it a habit (takes about a month for form a new habit or break a habit, as I recall from my counselling work). Off and running for now J.

leftovers

This is a recipe entry.
After Thanksgiving, inevitably there are leftovers.  My mom-in-law always cooks too much. This year she made a large turkey with rice dressing.  I don't think our family even ate half of it for dinner; so we each had large packages to take home.  I had a moment of inspriation today and decided to be creative with cooking.  I made the rice into a crust by adding an egg and pushing the mixture into a greased pie plate. I baked the rice crust for about 15 minutes at 350'F. Then I filled the pie crust with a quiche like mixture.  I tore up pieces of turkey, added sliced baby carrots, sliced cremini mushrooms and frozen peas to three beaten eggs and about 3/4 cup of milk.  I also grated in Parmasan. This I baked for 30 minutes.
The best endorsement was my son stating after his first bite: "Mmm, this is yummy mommy." He definitely made my day.

Giving Thanks

It is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada.  I thought it would be a good time to reflect on giving thanks and gratitude. I could write about what I am grateful for and give thanks to all those who surround me and do wonderful things to enlighten my life or in giving acts of kindness that are unexpected.  All of these are truths in my life and very much appreciated.  What I have noticed is the process of giving thanks, and what it can do for me. 

There is something about gratitude that creates space.  I was attending the process of a friend who gave a simple blessing for food prior to eating a quick lunch with me.  I was not “brought up” saying grace, nor has religion played a significant role in my life; however I found that her few words allowed for reflection to be more mindful about the food we were about to share and it seemed to create a greater appreciation for the food. Slowing down to take that moment for a few words rather than jumping into the meal made all the difference. The meal then became a more mindful experience to savour rather than just eating for sustenance.  I can see how taking those little steps to encourage being aware can shift how a simple thing as a meal can be appreciated.

I have found that looking through the lens of gratitude; I can find something to be positive about in the most difficult situations.  It doesn’t negate the pain of a difficult situation; however, it can start shifting how I view the situation, and perhaps make it less stressful.  I notice when I can find gratitude, it creates the space to breathe and I start freeing myself from the negativity that is often pervasive in difficult times. I think gratitude allows a positive “spin” to occur and a shift can start. It can bring light into the dark.

Next Steps

I am still recovering from the immediate effects of radiation: my skin is still dry and itchy and there was a little breakage in skin, so I’ve had to do saline soaks a few times a day.  Today is the first day that I’m feeling an improvement. Despite just picking myself up after treatment (and really, it had been less than a week since radiation finished) I find myself already thinking about what I need to do next.  There is another part of myself that holds caution, as I know that I can rush things.  It’s like my hair can’t grow back quick enough.  Or, trying to plan for what I can do next when physically when I haven’t yet the energy to accomplish what I want to set out to do.

I certainly have lots of ideas, but I know I will have to set myself to routines where I work toward building my physical body up (enough to energetically play with a three year old every day plus keep my home and household running and have energy for myself).  My first step toward rebuilding myself after completing radiation was to buy new pair of runners.  This is pretty significant as I haven’t had proper running shoes since my late teens.  I plan to start running as research shows that I can reduce the reoccurrence of breast cancer up to 70% by increasing my aerobic exercise to be 20-30 minutes daily.

It is an interesting space to be, not recovered but finished the heavy impacting treatments.  There is emerging information on what is called a “care plan,” the plan for after treatment.  This is becoming a stronger focus as many cancer survivors are living full lives after treatment.  The care plan is to help one figure out what considerations are needed in lifestyle to live fully after cancer treatment.  I think part of this is not only to prevent reoccurrence, but new cancers from developing as those who have been through cancer treatment have twice the chance of developing certain cancers than those who have not been through cancer treatment.  This is in part because the treatments for cancer can cause cancer, although the percentage of developing a new cancer from treatment is strongly outweighed by the treatments addressing the original cancer. Nonetheless, this now needs to be a consideration for my health and lifestyle choices. If one is interested in looking at care plans, there is one I found through LIVESTRONG: http://www.livestrongcareplan.org/